With the close out of 2019 and the beginning of a new decade, you would think the December 31st rallying cry of “new year, new me” would be louder than ever.
To the contrary, I’ve seen a not insignificant number of people switching to a much more realistic (though slightly sarcastic) catch phrase of “new year, same me”. It might be a joke, but there is something to be said about self acceptance and moving past the mind set that any sort of symbolic blank slate should warrant wiping your past away and trying to start over as someone completely different. I think we’ve all been there and have experienced the quick and bitter defeat of over zealous New Year’s Resolutions.
Over the past couple of years, I’ve come to realize that achieving goals doesn’t need to be a black and white matter. There are lots of shades of grey in the middle, and as long as you are moving in a slightly darker direction, or even just not getting any lighter, that is progress. Wait, do I have that backwards? Would black or white be the color to symbolize goal achievement? I’ve lost this thread, but you get my point.
So for 2020, I’m setting some goals like any other year, and then I’m going to work on them bit by bit instead of killing myself the first week of January and giving up by the 15th. Who’s with me?
I recently started reading an ebook on “manifesting” your goals and they suggested splitting them up into 10 categories, so that is what I’ve done below. Ready through and let me know what your 2020 goals are in the comments section!
Love
Yeesh. What a category to start with. This area of my life hasn’t been very active over the last couple of years. I’ve come to realize that I tend to silo myself off and, even when dating someone I like very much, have a hard time being vulnerable, which I think stunts a relationships growth. I have no idea how to fix this tendency, but I guess I’ll give myself bonus points for recognizing a pattern and make a note to talk to my therapist.
Family
I’m not sure that I have any goals related to this category. I guess there is always room for improvement? But I have no action plans related to this category and am not really thinking about starting a family of my own any time soon (see previous category, ha).
Health
Last year I was able to finally build a gym habit, and started going routinely on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Unfortunately, the second half of 2019 was, I think, the most stressed and exhausted I’ve ever been, which resulted in my gym routine being more sporadic and sometimes nonexistent. This year I would like to explore ways to help manage my stress levels, and also get back into my MWF routine. I’ve noticed that I do not feel like going on Fridays especially, so I am thinking of changing it up to a MTWTh schedule once I am back on track. I would also like to look into workout plans to add some variety to my gym time, since I usually just step on a cardio machine and listen to music for 20-30 minutes and call it a day. This was great to help me build the habit, but I think it is time to add some focus and intent to my workouts.
I have also set up a budget for “personal care” this year on my Mint account, and I would like to treat myself to a couple of facials when I have the money for them saved up. I tend to feel guilty when I spend money on beauty treatments, so hopefully seeing that it is in my budget will help me feel like it’s okay to take care of myself in this way.
Friends
I can’t say that I have any complaints in this category, but I would like to see my friends more often. Working to see local friends on a more consistent schedule and taking the time to plan out visits to my friends in other states/countries are definitely in order for 2020.
Finance
My favorite category – no, seriously. I have some pretty aggressive savings goals this year. But after setting up all of the automatic transfers necessary to meet them, my personal goal is to not voluntarily save even more on top of that. I spent December thinking I was strapped for cash with the Christmas season and sales adding up quickly, but after doing the math, I actually accidentally saved almost half my income for the month because of all the little $7-25 transfers to savings and investments I was sprinkling in throughout my week. I am gearing up to buy an investment property in the next year or two, but I don’t want to stress myself out to that extent just so I can do it a couple of months sooner.
My other goal in this category is to purchase high quality things less frequently and more intentionally, so that I am not wasting money on little $5-50 purchases that end up just clogging up my apartment.
Hobbies/Leisure
Ahh, hobbies. What are those again? With so much focus going into work this past year, I basically stopped working on any hobbies that I had. This year I would like to flex my creative muscles more by getting back into things like photography, blogging (hi!), and working on my side hustle, le SECT. I also got a Kindle for Christmas, which I am really excited about and would like to set up a list of books to read in my free time.
Career
At this moment I think I am fine with where I am at job-wise, at least for now. What I need to work on is mitigating the stress that has come with my promotion last year. I am also always interested in finding ways to make additional income, but the stress thing is priority number 1.
Travel
Last year I barely traveled outside of planned bachelorette or wedding weekends, and I only took one planned vacation. This kind of ties into the whole stress thing, so this year I would like to space out my vacation weeks evenly throughout the year, and also pepper in some weekend trips so I have some fun and adventure to break up the intense work activity.
Home
Over the last year or so I’ve slowly been decluttering my apartment and moving towards a more minimalist lifestyle. I’ve found that the apartment looks more polished, is easier to clean, and I enjoy my time there more. In 2020 I would like to continue working on this to see where it takes me. Ideally, at some point, I will get down to a limited set of items that leave me wanting for nothing and using everything to its full potential. I was not totally expecting items as harmless as an extra pair of headphones to be the source of discontent in my home life, but it turns out when you multiply the extra pair of headphones by a thousand other items that fall in the same category, it becomes overwhelming and discouraging. I guess Marie Kondo and The Minimalists are on to something.
My other goal for this category is to continue saving for a house, and to possibly buy one. This will depend on the market and whether the math works, so there is no hard deadline on this goal, but I am going to keep working on it just the same.
Other
I’m not sure that I have any 2020 goals that fall into the “other” category. This sort of overlaps with the Finance section, but I am trying to be a more conscious consumer when it comes to fashion and beauty. Actually, in every category. Whether it’s to decrease the amount of things I own or to reduce waste and packaging, I am going to continue to see where I can make some changes throughout the year.
Circling back to my comment about small, incremental changes; you’ve probably noticed that a lot of these goals are not super specific. I know that the general advice for setting and attaining goals is to make them as specific as possible and give yourself a deadline, etc. but I find this method to backfire when I use it. I usually have a long list of very ambitious goals, and then as soon as I am even slightly off track I feel discouraged and just stop trying, because how could I possibly meet that goal now? Instead I like to set generic goals, and then implement changes slowly, one baby step at a time so that it feels easy and low effort.
For example, if you were to set a goal to lose/gain X number of pounds every month until you are at your goal weight, you are at risk for falling off track and feeling discouraged or falling into a self-loathing spiral pretty quickly, especially if you are starting from zero and don’t even have a gym routine. Instead, make a generic goal to just build a gym habit. You might find you need a couple months to find a gym you like, carve out time in your weekly schedule, learn how to use the machines, etc. You might not be burning X calories or building Y pounds of muscle (yet), but you’ve made huge progress in building the habit! Now you can set another goal to, say, intensify or lengthen your workouts, or, to start lifting instead of just doing cardio. Start again with small changes and experimenting with what works for you, and eventually you’ll have met that goal too. It’s all about baby steps, people.
Happy New Year, everyone. Now, let’s get that bread 💪.